Reflection of My Thoughts...

listen to it... the sound is just there!

2010-06-19T17:11:00.002+05:30

An interesting story.... i just happen to get on to some site and read it. i loved it. so posting it up here.

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.Why did you do it?"The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded."I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car."It's my brother," he said."He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.
It's our choice: Listen to the whisper ... or wait for the brick!

we v/s they....

2010-06-06T12:32:00.002+05:30

"some ppl wud nevr change... they wud always stay the same, with their own ego n self-conclusions... wish they cud come out of their self made thoughts n see the real side.... huh! i realy feel if i cud talk out n make them understand, but no use talking to ppl so much shakled up in their "own" thoughts... such miserable ones!
they make theirs as wel as others life difficult. cant keep it simple n easy! sad ppl!"
This is the 1st statement i made for the day today in the middle of the nyt wen thoughts were crowding up my mind....
i got some comment back stating that one shudnt ask other to change, y not change ourselves, or rather accept them the way they are or rather forget them coz "no one can change one innate nature"... very true indeed...
the whole point wasnt to ask them to change, but yes, it shudnt be that our individuality, our presentation shud b changed by them, that also in a wrong way coz their brains manipulate it the other way.

and the conclusion ended up as "ignore it, coz ignorance is bliss"
hmm... at times in life u cant do anything other than accepting the way things are coming up our way.

but the dichotomy of life n relations are always there, which make us ponder over the two split-ends at times, (specially wen u r literally jobless... u c todayz sunday :P)... but seriously, how many of us actually think it from the all possible perspective, "from our's n from their's"? difficult it is!

Back again with new life

2010-06-03T11:59:00.007+05:30

Its been long long n long since i wrote something here. Reasons??? Many... but its been more than a year, almost the same time i have been in .... in 3rd year of my graduation. Think it was made to make my life change a lot, going through a lot of drastic changes, lots of contrasting changes. People who know me closely, or who are near/around me, know it all. At times even i wonder over my life and its path n its phases. Going all through it, one thing i know for sure, "life is at its best if u keep it simple" , its beautiful, wonderful, and best of all, peaceful. :)

Here after completing (almost) my 3rd year of graduation, n working as a internee at this office, with lots of work, with friends at a little distance to contact, with thoughts of special people, with thoughts of past life, with time constraint, with hopes to lead a better life, with thoughts to take out time for myself, with thought to spend quality time with others, with plans ahead, with independance, with a solo soul, with thoughts to keep things simple, with some moral upliftments (it doesnt mean it wasnt uplifted earlier :P ), n being a little more wise on thoughts n actions, n keeping myself busy.... all these things together are making my life awesome.

I do miss a few things, i do miss a few people, i do get lost in memories, i do get sad, i do cry at times. I feel, n i wish, few things wudnt hav happened or wudnt have happened the same way they did, or the happy parts of past wudnt hav changed or wud hav still been there. I know all these things are a part of our life n will stay with us forever, but moving ahead in life on better paths is what is the demand of life and of persent situation. I have to give little time to these part of life, but at the same, have to keep going towards fulfillment and happiness. Every other person/ living being is "In Pursuit of Happiness". Even if they do something for others, they do it because it makes them happy in some way.

"Its a new day, its a new life" everyday.... n i'm living it, trying to make the best out of it. So, lets live it before we realise it gone. Lets be in touch with pain of realities, but lets try, n make it all happy in one way or other. N trust me it works.

:) :)

ANGELS TO ASHES, DEVILS TO DUST

2009-03-22T13:29:00.001+05:30

That pain was forgotten
Those bruises were gone
Life was new as I tried to move on
Once again things seemed to be fine
The cuts and rashes were getting filled with time
Once again I learnt how to fly
Once again I learnt how to hug the sky
Things were beautiful, things were new
Once again the words seemed true
But again the dark shadow has been cast
Once again I am in the painful past
The box has broken and so has the final string of trust
Angels to Ashes and Devils to Dust

The tears seemed far away
Happiness I thought was here to stay
Once again the grass was green
Once again the world wasn’t mean
Once again there was no distress
No more was pain my mistress
Once again smiling wasn’t a task
There was no need to hide behind a mask
But now I know the façade is here to stay
The more I want happiness the more it goes away
The box has broken and I have been cursed
Angels to Ashes and Devils to Dust

Your memories will never be the same
This heart will never take your name
This angel is not yours; this devil is not yours anymore to claim
But now I wont have repent, now I wont have shame
For it’s time for the phoenix to rise
For it’s time that change is a must
For it’s time that the Angel is Ashes For it’s time that the Devil is Dust

PLEASE NOTE: ITS NOT WRITTEN BY ME... I READ IT IN SOMEONE'S BLOG N I LIKED IT. SO JUST COPY-PASTED IT.

2008-10-02T23:50:00.002+05:30

"LET IT GO!"... Hmm... I'm letting it come now. Rather I think it has already come. Dont know if its for better or for worse, but I'll face it up, be it the fact, the consequences, or the shadows if it. Have to be like this, have to face it, have to live up with this. And I will...!

Purple Haze

2008-09-28T20:05:00.005+05:30

"Purple Haze", a phase of life. The colour that seems so calm within, so soft, making things flow and fly together. Feels so good. The brigthness of white in it, so pure. The abyss, so untouched. Pulling towards itself, like the strings of guitar, that sounds upto your mind. Its in the air around, can move finger between it, can smell the light purple haze aroma. A flower with purple haze, a flower that smiles back. A smile thats been reflected by the soft pink lips of an innocent baby. A baby who comes to you, cudlles and sleeps with little crystal clear eyes closed, holding upon you knowing that you will care for him/her, trusting you bilndly for no reasons, or say has never come to know the negetive of the word "trust". Purple haze in seen in that crystal clear eyes of that little baby. Purple haze is that Trust, the trust in life, the trust in the super-power, the trust in time, the trust in everything around, and the trust in oneself. "Please excuse me while I see the vast open sky", the purple haze of sky, which makes it more vast, still makes feel that its so small that the sky will come into my arms when they are wide open. The twinkling stars sparkle with that purple haze. The crispy feeling while walking through the dried leaves fallen on ground. Wrinkles falling on an old man's face while he smiles heartly to see his family happy... Aah! Its all "Purple Haze"....

Everything seems so-o-o-o good!

Hats off !!!

2008-09-24T19:03:00.003+05:30

hmm, today i had my 1st day of mid-sem exam. it was okay(not to keep hopes high). well, after the whole night study(with closed eyes n small naps) i passed through the theory paper, EOT today. And even the pactical paper of GC went off in a fine way.
Phhheeewwww!!! what made me today over here to this page was some which i have been noticing for long, n even noticed today. You see, i seen have lots of sincere, consistant working students in my batch n especially i my department of FD. Means i dont know, they are made up of what??? Even i too try up hard to come up with something different n creative n intresting out of my given assignments. But there are these people who make in wonder whats there inside them which make them the way they are. Out of all those, i appreciate a few, n few i dont cause of their not so-very-appealing-to-me work.(I dont say their work isnt good. Just taht their work do not appeal to me in a sense or so).
During the practical paper of GC(the subject in which i try lot to improve myself coz I,m too bad in that, coz the machine runs like a ferrari for me), this girl(one of the very good students of my class) sits just behind me. She has always been good in GC, n was doing her best during the exam as always. She was even done with her work one hour before time. But, the lady luck played cruel on her, and after completing all her work, by mistake she cut her sample of smaller size to that of required one. She had done good job on that piece of fabric, but cause of this size-cutting mistake, she was requuired to do that assignment again.
To be true, if i would have been in this same situation, i would have lost all hope and given up everything and aould have started crying or so. BUT, HATS OFF TO THAT GIRL... the hope, petience, n will power that girl displayed was something too appreciable. she again did that assignment n submitted all her work ON-TIME. WOOOOOO... that was too good. i was like just crabed by her way of working. Means, i have always appreciated her, but today she proved it that yes she is one to be counted on.
Hope some day i too will be able to display such high degree of performance!!!

Reasons....???

2008-09-21T21:14:00.004+05:30

as usual a lot of thought hover over my mind, layer upon layer, making each thought blurr. Still, they exist there deep inside my mind. This is al the out-pouring of those blurr thoughts...

I dont like to do what i should actually do, what is the need of "this hour". I mean i should be doing stuff regarding my academy, my exam(which is about to start from this 24th sep), my submission(which is due tommorow). But no... all the people around are busy completing their work n I'm here stuck into ... dnot knw wht!!!

still, i knw i ll continue with this. i dnt knw why i m here writing this all, though i knw no one reads this n there'll b no use of wasting my time like this. may b coz i want someone to listen to me, or may b i dnt find anyone listening to me in my real world(so tapping my fingers here on keyboard into another waste...), or may b i speak out my words less n listen to others more, or.... there goes so many "or"s.

I actually love it when others understand me, without me saying out a single word(yeah, may b this cud b a better n stronger reason). means life wud b so easy if everyone understand the other without having to make an effort to make others understand one-own-self. there wil b no misunderstandings, no wastage of time in runing after other to make them understand... I always try my level best to understand others, "read their feelings, and give them words"(sorry sis for using ur community's tag line!), let them be wht they want to be. does anyone else care to do that? n why do i go into such stuff which not only make my life complicated n sometimes even others(chuk it, i ll still continue to be wht i m ryt now).

I remember, when i was in 8th standard, there was this class teacher of mine, who used to act sismilarly. She wanted the class to speak less(for sure, speak a lot when required), n understand the unsaid words, n act accordingly(quickly). even there came out a game such like that(of guessing out movie names). i actually used to enjoy those things, the silence, the game, the hidden words... n i still luv to b calm n silent n understand things, rather than jus acting to understand. so i think a lot. but its often said, "too much thought is too much confusion". n yes, i too fall into this trap of confusion. but i cant jus go after things without giving them a thought n without understanding them. n i do feel personally, that everyone shud be so thoughtful n understnding, as not to skip out little small, but "worth-a-matter" things in life.

i knw, right now whts "worth-a-matter" in my life right now is my submissiom tommorow, n my pending(late) submissions. so i think i shud better get a hold over that now.

wel, i dnt knw wht i hv written over here, coz i started with some other thought(which i dont remember now), n ending with some other thought. so plz dont try hard to understand this one.(huh!). wel, i ll try to make sure atleast this post is read n .......

2008-09-07T01:11:00.003+05:30

Hav lots of things at back of the mind. Its crowded inside,bt cant utter a single word. Life's just a game or, its so very unpredicted. U r happy now n the very next moment all ur happy-shappy thing turn into a mere past n a new pain scoops out into tears.

For instance, le'me tell wht it has been for the last month...hmm, not last month,that wil b too long...for the last few days.life do has its ups n downs. So it was all going that way only. In between all the work n frustation n happiness n laughs n frens n blah blah... i got to knw dat v r gona hv a freshers' day party on 5th sep...hmm sounds intresting(though such things do not sound so very intresting to me generally...still, this time it did) n i was in full mood to party n dress up(okay...for no one else but, my own self...u knw the feel-good-factor!). Deciding upon wht to wear n all, there came Friday....HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!!! Okay, v planned to get a cake n celebrate in our class, bt very sson v got an invitation from our super-seniors to hv a small bite of the cake(though it turned out to b negligible-bite). Still, v kept our spirit high n moved towards our plan keeping the time post-lunch. Yeah v got yummiiiiiiiiii chocolate truffle cake(no one can resist it n had patience to wait for teachers, bt they hv to). N mid of all this i got a heart breaking news...."Freshers' party has been cancelled...well, dnt lose hope.V r having JAM session tonyt"... OH NOOOO!!! The news was not at al happening...still,the JAM nyt thing kept me alive for the rest of the day. Anyhow, I made all the required invitations(being the F.D.III Class-Rep.). Due to some or the other reason, our teachers' day celebration got delayed till 4 p.m. N finally.... (hheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) the cake was stabed n was attacked badly wen the teachers left the classroom..... Its was really really yummmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!! The class actually went crazy n i was...(i shud better not talk abt this part). The photo-session continued. F.D.III was blasting(Basically we were trying to take our regular work-frustation out :D). Click...Click...Click...Click... n continue... Soon the class got over n everyone ran out of classroom in the same fun-making mood. Then we had again a teachers'day celebrations(yeah...'twas 3rd time) as a whole-colleg-type... as usual, the program went off(fusssssssssss.... due to some technical problem). Anyways, i went back 2 my PG n got ready taking the least time posible. And then...... Here comes the big time.... THE DANCE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... we all went carzy n rocked the floor(thank god it didnt break...hah!). I alone went to the terrace(boundry-less top of our building) jumping out of the window(since the doors were locked) to take a few intresting vedio-clips of the dance floor. Though the music was so bad n inspite of our usual "kindly bear with it n hav patience. we r having some technical problem", we went on pouring out our "welcome-to-F.D." frustaion on the floor (n on the technical-difficulty-arisers).Then, for me few more click-clicks, then a long-short type drive, n then a mehnga-dinner n finally i was on my bed fully exhausted(sleeping with a damn care abt the world).

Next morning i woke up n again went back to sleep n finally woke up at 3:30p.m.(saturday afternoon) out of hunger. Orderd a royal-type lunch, ate filling to the neck n kept my recent pics uploading on orkut.

Whtelse... by the late evening i started feeling a bit bored so, after a long long time i called up all posible frens n relatives. I called at home(only this call i make almost daily, without fail) n had a talk with my Nani ji. Dnt knw wht made it, bt tears were in my eyes. Getting in touch with all my frens n relatives again after a long time, tiggered a few unsaid thoughts in my mind.

Memories...nostalgia...longing for something... the feelings turned all my few past fun-times into mere piece of crumbled paper. Wen almost all the required call were made, i waited for 11p.m. I didnt make any call then(though i was supposed to). i dnt knw wht stopped me. Yahoo msger made my hopes high, but again, since 'twas the sad-time going, things started turning dull n sad. the fear of losing things made my hidden tears walk out. N made me feel so helpless before TIME n LIFE!

And it was again... why does all happy things hv to come to an end... even not being a mistake-maker, why someone has to suffer??? I myt sound kiddish. Still, I think its a fact that every adult-heart can only understand!

DOOR NA JAA...

2008-09-07T01:04:00.002+05:30

Dnt knw, bt this song has become a part of my life n my loneliness...

Tera chera meri aankhon me basaa rehne de
Khud ko thora sa kahin mujhme basa rehne de
Door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...door na ja.....

Aaj k baad mera sara safar tanha hai
Aur tere saath ka bhi aakhri ye lamha hai
Aur kuchh der mujhe...aur kuchh der mujhe khud se jura rehne de
Aur kush der mujhe khud se jura rehne de
Door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...

Kahin jaake mere dil ko ye lagta hai
Yaar ki baanhon mein meri jannat ka jahan basta hai
Aur kuchh der mujhe...aur kuchh der mujhe inme bandha rehne de
Aur kuchh der mujhe inme bandha rehne de
Door na ja...door na ja...door na ja...door na ja.....

"A Moment"

2008-03-07T02:07:00.001+05:30

the same old story.... again it goes up here.....

A moment lost
Lasted for a moment.
But,
It may sometimes LAST FOREVER !
A moment which holds numerous moments within itself.

Moment of smiles,
Moment of tears,
Moment of bravery and moment confronting our inner fears.

Moment of joy,
Moment of sorrow,
Moment capturing from memories of past to the promises of tomorrow.

Moment of a victory without having to fight,and
Moment when u let before ur eyes,ur efforts into vain.
Moment of love,dreams,hopes,trust,waits,hurts & pain.

And,
A Moment becomes a LIFE
When it has lasted for a moment,
But then LOST FOREVER !

"Still...A SURVIVER!".

2008-03-07T02:03:00.001+05:30

again something which i wrote a long time back, sometime in year 2006... up here coz the punch-line still remains the same.....

I believe...
Life isnt just to live,
Its to survive.
And,I'm still a Surviver...

For life,I'm still striving,
For peace,still fighting...
Blind towards the fingers pointing at me,
Still,they hurt deeply.
Bearing all,as like a Surviver...

Tears soaked up inside,and a false smile.
No hopes to live for,
At the same,
No ostensible reason to die.
Shackled up in this mean world,
No i dont want this. I wont also let go myself so easily.
I have miles to go and lots do.
Fulfill expestations of all those Who made me what i am...a Surviver...

A lonesome feeling creeps into,
to a untouched deepness.
Searching for a ray,
In complete darkness.
An anorex with no desire.
And...still a Surviver...

Resurrecting myself each time,
At a point where
Life and Death meets.
And...thats surviving.
So...I'm "Still...A SURVIVER!".

pain in heart

2008-03-07T01:55:00.000+05:30

this is something i wrote long back... a short yet true.... so putting it up here again....

wish it wud hav been a heart attack,but no...its pain of suffocation,pain of a feeling that can not be taken in.it feels bad when u u are alone and u want to cry and worse that there's no one to giv u a shoulder to cry.and even worse,when the person u think to be the one to giv u a shoulder to cry n feel at comfort,is the reason for the tears in ur eyes.but this generally happens this way only.i too dont have a answer why so?(if anyone,u r most welcome)

hhhmmmm... really DONT KNOW !!!!

2008-02-23T21:35:00.000+05:30

Huh! long time since when i last shared my thoughts up here(dont know shared with this page of blog, or with my very own self). It seems as if the time rushed out in fast pace since then till today, but actually every moment of it had awaited for taday. Due to some or the other reason,the days in between 'then' and 'today' went empty without any new word adding up here. I actaully dont know what am i doing up here with lacking-words, but its just that i m actually loving to be back here. Seems like a ressurection of that 'aparajita' with a few more thoughts, few more experiences, few more words to say, few more harsh realities of life, and few more fantacies (not to forget, few more adipose-cells). Well, its just about going with risk at evry step,taking challenge every time, enjoying every bit, being own-self,...with LIFE, the best teacher around.

OUT OF MIND BIRTHDAY

2006-12-05T14:27:00.000+05:30

its not strange when things turn out very different to what we expect.ya,its true that one should not expect a lot coz expectations can kill.but then,being a normal human being,i too have desires and expectations.this year,on my b'day,i just thought that it'll be a great one(i forgot,the ususal tag for me,"salao").i was a fool to think that way.i planed up for my b'day,to have some party and something special,as like going to shri sai temple,then off to my classes,then out with frens,then again for classes,back home and a nice dinner with my mom n dad and me being whole day busy on my cell phone attending to all the calls,for wishing me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

but,things were really unexpected.on 10th nov night i had a bit of mess with my mom and i cancelled my plan for the party at home,and also coz,out of three frens who were to come for the small b'day celebration, two were not able to come for the party.so i better decided to put off that plan.i cried a bit under my pillow,as usual n then was quite.anyways,i was with my cell phone at 12:00am of 11th nov's night,when it was all dark(electricity was out...what a start of my b'day).and ya,i got calls from few of my near dear ones,but not of all(well,the whole day was left,there's still time).and then,i heard a few noise downstairs.i suspected of something being wrong.i asked my dad to check out.so went near the window and shouted out"who's out there???".and then we heard some foot-steps of people running and jumping.that was something big.(thieves broking into my house...!!!!)as there was no light,we waited in suspence.then by 1:30,electricity was back,and i & my dad went down to check for things,and lo...we found the door's bolt broken ang the lock of the grill also broken.my mom got really scared.we got another lock on the grill.closed the outlets properly and went back up.sleep was out.clock showed 3:30am.another good thing of my b'day happened.hah! okay....in the morning as i wasn't feeling so fresh, so i bunked my morning classes.after having some sleep,went to kali temple,but my bad luck,i was late and the doors were close.went back to home.ya,there was something good.mom was waiting for me with some mouth watering food.okay the lunch was yummy.but still,somewhere i was not happy.last year,on my b'day my cell was all engagged coz of so many calls i was getting.but this year,(dont ask me....well,i m telling myself)ikept waiting the whole time for my cell to ring.very boring it was.i went to sleep after 4pm and then dad was back home in the eve.

at night,i didnt feel like eating anything,not coz i was full,but coz i was not having the taste.there were very few calls and i waited till the last minute of my b'day for the calls to come up (which i expected).but no,there was none.though somewhere,i was checking out this only.(i stopped calling people for the last 10 days b4 my b'day to check who are the one to remember me).most of the people forgot that it was my b'day.means,i was so down regarding this fact,that i cried for the whole day,and also the next day.i felt being shown a cold shoulder by everyone whom i think to be my dears ones.i thought that ,why the hell this always happens with me.inspite knowing this fact,why i planned up for so many things....and i got the reply,coz i hav the heart.it was all.the heart which thinks it own way,saying"diatanaces make hearts grow fonder".but in reality,the fact,thats bitter but true,"OUT OF SITE,IS OUT OF MIND".