"LET IT GO!"... Hmm... I'm letting it come now. Rather I think it has already come. Dont know if its for better or for worse, but I'll face it up, be it the fact, the consequences, or the shadows if it. Have to be like this, have to face it, have to live up with this. And I will...!

Hav lots of things at back of the mind. Its crowded inside,bt cant utter a single word. Life's just a game or, its so very unpredicted. U r happy now n the very next moment all ur happy-shappy thing turn into a mere past n a new pain scoops out into tears.

For instance, le'me tell wht it has been for the last month...hmm, not last month,that wil b too long...for the last few days.life do has its ups n downs. So it was all going that way only. In between all the work n frustation n happiness n laughs n frens n blah blah... i got to knw dat v r gona hv a freshers' day party on 5th sep...hmm sounds intresting(though such things do not sound so very intresting to me generally...still, this time it did) n i was in full mood to party n dress up(okay...for no one else but, my own self...u knw the feel-good-factor!). Deciding upon wht to wear n all, there came Friday....HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!!! Okay, v planned to get a cake n celebrate in our class, bt very sson v got an invitation from our super-seniors to hv a small bite of the cake(though it turned out to b negligible-bite). Still, v kept our spirit high n moved towards our plan keeping the time post-lunch. Yeah v got yummiiiiiiiiii chocolate truffle cake(no one can resist it n had patience to wait for teachers, bt they hv to). N mid of all this i got a heart breaking news...."Freshers' party has been cancelled...well, dnt lose hope.V r having JAM session tonyt"... OH NOOOO!!! The news was not at al happening...still,the JAM nyt thing kept me alive for the rest of the day. Anyhow, I made all the required invitations(being the F.D.III Class-Rep.). Due to some or the other reason, our teachers' day celebration got delayed till 4 p.m. N finally.... (hheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) the cake was stabed n was attacked badly wen the teachers left the classroom..... Its was really really yummmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!! The class actually went crazy n i was...(i shud better not talk abt this part). The photo-session continued. F.D.III was blasting(Basically we were trying to take our regular work-frustation out :D). Click...Click...Click...Click... n continue... Soon the class got over n everyone ran out of classroom in the same fun-making mood. Then we had again a teachers'day celebrations(yeah...'twas 3rd time) as a whole-colleg-type... as usual, the program went off(fusssssssssss.... due to some technical problem). Anyways, i went back 2 my PG n got ready taking the least time posible. And then...... Here comes the big time.... THE DANCE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... we all went carzy n rocked the floor(thank god it didnt break...hah!). I alone went to the terrace(boundry-less top of our building) jumping out of the window(since the doors were locked) to take a few intresting vedio-clips of the dance floor. Though the music was so bad n inspite of our usual "kindly bear with it n hav patience. we r having some technical problem", we went on pouring out our "welcome-to-F.D." frustaion on the floor (n on the technical-difficulty-arisers).Then, for me few more click-clicks, then a long-short type drive, n then a mehnga-dinner n finally i was on my bed fully exhausted(sleeping with a damn care abt the world).

Next morning i woke up n again went back to sleep n finally woke up at 3:30p.m.(saturday afternoon) out of hunger. Orderd a royal-type lunch, ate filling to the neck n kept my recent pics uploading on orkut.

Whtelse... by the late evening i started feeling a bit bored so, after a long long time i called up all posible frens n relatives. I called at home(only this call i make almost daily, without fail) n had a talk with my Nani ji. Dnt knw wht made it, bt tears were in my eyes. Getting in touch with all my frens n relatives again after a long time, tiggered a few unsaid thoughts in my mind.

Memories...nostalgia...longing for something... the feelings turned all my few past fun-times into mere piece of crumbled paper. Wen almost all the required call were made, i waited for 11p.m. I didnt make any call then(though i was supposed to). i dnt knw wht stopped me. Yahoo msger made my hopes high, but again, since 'twas the sad-time going, things started turning dull n sad. the fear of losing things made my hidden tears walk out. N made me feel so helpless before TIME n LIFE!

And it was again... why does all happy things hv to come to an end... even not being a mistake-maker, why someone has to suffer??? I myt sound kiddish. Still, I think its a fact that every adult-heart can only understand!

pain in heart

this is something i wrote long back... a short yet true.... so putting it up here again....

wish it wud hav been a heart attack,but no...its pain of suffocation,pain of a feeling that can not be taken in.it feels bad when u u are alone and u want to cry and worse that there's no one to giv u a shoulder to cry.and even worse,when the person u think to be the one to giv u a shoulder to cry n feel at comfort,is the reason for the tears in ur eyes.but this generally happens this way only.i too dont have a answer why so?(if anyone,u r most welcome)